Whirlwind Weapon
by Cornuthaum
Summary: They asked for blood or servitude. They would get their Living Weapon, but not in the way they imagined. He would be a whirlwind of life, joy and emotion, even in the line of duty. - Abandoned due to canon fail
1. Of Origins

**Whirlwind Weapon**

By Cornuthaum

_Because I can..._

Disclaimer: ME SMASH! RARRR! (Meaning: Don't bugger me. It´s clear that I don't own anything in here, except the plot for this piece of _**fiction**_)

This was bred in my head, hatched in the TFF and ultimately born here.

* * *

_Fate is fickle._

_She is a cruel mistress, harsh, unyielding and never explaining her motives. And she takes _interest_ in the affairs of mortals. And at times, she moves her hand... this is her will manifest._

* * *

In the Hidden Village of the Leaf, all was well... _or not_.

The damages from the attack of the Kyuubi no Kitsune were repaired years ago, there was no war going on involving the Leaf, missions came in droves and paid off well, for all parties involved... and yet, there was unrest.

Malice.

Spite.

An underlying torrent of seething rage, directed at one of their own.

Of course, the reason for their anger, frustration and slowly simmering violence was something that was beyond the control of the boy.

As if it were his fault that their _beloved hero_ had sealed the monster into him.

But the boy didn't know about that. What he knew was that the grown-ups hated him. Hated him so badly that their glares _hurt_ at times. Worse than any physical blow, which ultimately followed when he asked _why_.

It was all so unfair.

He never realized that there were attempts on his life. Never. Because the ANBU protecting him, the soldiers of the _Assassination_ squads of the Leaf, he survived. Much later, when he understood the dichotomy of it all, he laughed. Laughed long and hard, and invited all the surviving of those ANBU to an all-out ramen eating contest.

But at the same time, there was a danger that not even the elite of the ANBU could protect him from. Not bodily harm, not psychic danger.

No, the danger came from a playing field where young Naruto was hideously outmatched and where the ANBU couldn't participate in.

Politics.

While many of the _ANBU_ certainly didn't like protecting him at all, they were elite soldiers first and individuals later. They had their orders, and they _would_ follow them, shoving petty things such as emotion and feelings aside.

But the members of the Leaf Village Council were not bound by those orders, issued by the one man in the Leaf with both the power and foresight to see Naruto as what he was, instead of what was his burden.

And many of their intrigues, schemes and machinations were focused on that particular citizen.

And while both his and their respected and even revered leader, the Sandaime Hokage Sarutobi, did his best to divert the, there were times when he came dangerously to failing at this task.

This was another of these times.

And as he sat, shoulders slumped from both exhaustion and old age, raging against the walls of his mind about the petty wrath of "_Konoha´s Finest_", sound assaulted him.

Shrill shouts of self-righteous indignation paired with a tiny voice hoarsely bellowing at an equally high volume.

"For the last time, he _won't _see you! Now go away and annoy someone else!"

"Bah! You stupid old biddy! He said I could come visit him _any time_ if he´s in the office!"

"Stupid? Old? Oooooh, boy, now you've done it..."

A heavy sigh, followed by the rustle of cloth and steps full of grandfatherly anger preceded Sarutobi´s arrival in the antechamber of his office, where he was greeted by a most unpleasant sight.

His soon-to-be-former-assistant, Suzumiya Asuka, as well as the focus of both the Council´s machinations and his worry, Uzumaki Naruto engaged in an all-out shouting match.

"_Suzumiya-san! _Naruto-kun!"

His voice was that of a teacher and commander, a voice that you couldn't not listen to. And from the way their heads snapped around to face him, mouths hanging open in an undignified way, he _still_ could sound scary if he wanted to.

"Suzumiya-san, this is the _fourth_ time you've tried to stop Naruto-kun from entering my office even though you knew I were in. You know what I said the last time about these actions, and you know the repercussions."

With a pale face, an enraged stare at Naruto and a huff, Suzumiya Asuka left, not to be seen in any important function within the Konoha administration ever again.

"Ya-hoo! The old crow´s gone! Serves her right!"

Unfortunately, simple things such as tact, dignity and patience were not the strong suit of the six-year old orphan.

"Naruto-kun, please. At least _try_ to be friendly to everyone."

This was followed by an odd expression on the young one´s face, a mix between anger, sorrow and being sorry as they ambled into the highest office of Konoha.

"I know, old man, but... you know, it´s so unfair..."

Raising an eyebrow ever so slightly, he gave in to his inquisitive side.

"What do you mean, unfair? You can't exactly expect people to be friendly to you if you spray their dog with red paint to make it look like some rabid fox hybrid, proceed to defecate on their doorstep and then ring the bell to ask for toilet paper."

The ear-to-ear grin that threatened to split Naruto´s face was proof enough as to what he thought of _that_ particular venture, the source of the latest report in a large pile simply titled "Naruto"

"Oy, old man, you said it yourself! _Treat them as they treat you!_ They treat me like shit, and all... glaring at me, snapping at me and just being _mean!_ And now I do the same stuff to them and I get in trouble for it! It ain't _fair_!"

Sarutobi-sandaime was a man of great strength, both physically and mentally. Yet, the sight of a dejected, depressed boy created a small chink in the nigh-impenetrable armor of the Professor, if only because he had so utterly _failed _at his taskgiven to him by his successor that the very elders of his village lobbyed for the death of Naruto.

"Well, Naruto, you certainly give them ample opportunity to be angry at you. Some of your pranks are really dangerous, like the one with the jar of honey, the smoke bomb and the pineapple."

Eyes downcast, hair drooping and shoulders slumped, Naruto was the perfect picture of wretched misery... until he actually looked at his Hokage and shot another wide grin at him.

"Yeah, but you gotta admit that those prissy bastards deserved it! Hehehe!"

"That is _not_ the point, Naruto-kun. There are many, many people angry at you, and some of them are _really_ angry with you, for many different reasons."

Sighing, Sarutobi turned around, fully expecting Naruto to be in some form of denial, outrage or with that particular look that bode ill for those Naruto deemed _worthy_ of getting pranked.

Instead, Naruto had a look of focus, of such concentration, one that was as utterly out of place on his face as Maito Gai reading the Icha Icha series was unreal.

"You know, old man, they _always_ call me a good-for nothing bastard. Useless. A twerp. A menace to society. One even called me a bovine lummox... though I don't know what that one means."

A deep sigh, at least as deep as the lungs of a young boy can make.

"And, _heh_, isn't it true? I can't do anything right, just prank those _stupid, mean __**jerkfaces**_! You're the awesome Hokage, ain't you? Can't you, like, teach me to become awesome too? So that those guys lie when they call me useless and stupid and then get their butts kicked by me because lying is bad and mean?"

Sarutobi was amazed. The midget boy had said all that without even drawing breath once in between.

And it hurt, because he knew that Naruto was at least partially right. It was no secret that he didn't know the first things about social etiquette – because he had no-one to socialize with.

He couldn't write, because no-one taught him to, and no-one expected him to, and he could barely _read_, because all he had to read were the price tags on whatever he managed to buy.

And he was weak. Weak, malnourished, an undergrown midget... but still, a midget with the indomitable will of fire.

And something inside of the Professor, the greatest shinobi to _ever_ live, the man who could – and _had – _put the fear of himself into anyone who survived a battle with him, shifted.

Shifted from a stance where he tried and _failed_ utterly to provide Naruto with a normal childhood.

Shifted from a position where he would encourage Naruto to live on his own, as freely as he could.

Shifted to a position where an intellect that had no equal within the elemental countries sought not to _oppose_ the council, but to _dominate_ them, to submit their ideas, their plans and their petty spite to _his_ will and make from it an unified leadership again... _his_ leadership.

And he would _make_ Naruto earn the recognition he deserved, even if it was by other means than he had originally planned.

Absently shuffling some papers lying on his desk, he focused his thoughts and turned to Naruto again.

"Aa, Naruto, I fear some important Hokage business has come up... but I promise we'll talk about that again, if you have the time."

The first few words sent an almost crushing despair over Naruto´s face, but the blooming expression of hope strengthened the Hokage´s resolve one last time.

_If I have _any_ say in the matter, and, oooh, I do, he will _not_ become some emotional trainwreck like Itachi-kun or Kakashi-kun._

* * *

Next: Sarutobi meets the council and has a heart-to-heart discussion with Naruto. 


	2. Of Response and Responsibility

**Whirlwind Weapon**

By Cornuthaum

_Because I can..._

Disclaimer: This is an AU. Canon can go and molest a donkey, see if I care. I don't own anything but the plot and any character you won't find on Wikipedia.

**Chapter One:** Of Response and Responsibility

* * *

_Born into a world at war, the man who would later shed his first name in respect of his position was a multitude of things._

_An annoying brat to his teachers at times._

_An uncompromising foe to his enemies everywhere._

_A good friend to his teammates for decades._

_And, at the age of twelve, a Hokage to **his** people. A leader unlike any other, before or after him, the greatest of their number. An iron fist in a silken glove._

_And that iron fist would come free of the gentle wrapping once again, and there _would_ be a reckoning._

* * *

"Asakawa-san, you can't be serious. Your proposal is even more ridiculous than Danzo-dono´s usual attempts to spark another war with the Stone." 

Mitokado Homura was many things, amongst them a long-standing ally of the Third Hokage, a loving parent and grandfather and the shinobi who became known in the Cloud as _Burning Blade Homura_.

But there were things he was not. Insane, needlessly cruel, stupid and warmongering. And Asakawa Junko, to his deep-going frustration, was all of those at once.

Danzo he could respect, if only grudgingly, because the man was as brutal and cruel as he was driven and smart. Not that he didn't make it very clear what he thought of the man´s many attempts to spark another war to send his forces to fight, kill and die in.

_If that miserable idiot doesn't stop prattling any time soon I'll snap... gods above, Danzo, is it _really_ necessary for you to send your lowest underlings to the front to do your dirty work nowadays?_

But, suddenly, the toad-like woman ground to a sudden and almost painful halt, bringing Homura out of his introspection.

As his head swivelled around – like those of the _entire_ council of the Village of the Leaf – he saw something he had thought lost. Something that had petrified the weak, brought dread to the strong and hope to the hearts of the allied forces.

It was his teammate – even after decades – and his leader, the Sandaime. Sarutobi, the Professor, sole holder of the Ape contract, the greatest genius the Leaf had seen since its founding.

And whatever it was – _and he had a good idea of what it was –_ that had ticked Sarutobi off, he radiated once again that aura of command, shone with the unquenchable, invincible will of fire, his head held high and shoulders squared. It was a magnificent sight to behold, as the transformation from a slightly bent old man to a masterful warrior and commander took place once more.

He shot a quick look at his _other _teammate, the "_squinty-eyed granny_" as her grandchildren called her at times, Utatane Koharu, receiving the same look in return, one that spoke of an understanding of the situation.

They were different persons with different personalities, lives and memories, but both of them thought and _knew_ one thing at that moment.

_Whoever pissed old Saru off is screwed. He hasn't shown his emotions this freely since he learned of Orochimaru´s true betrayal._

"_Thank you_ very much for your contributions, Asakawa-san. Your concern for the welfare of the village is _duly noted_."

Even Danzo, the nigh-unrivalled master of biting sarcasm was taken aback by the acidic undertones of the Thirds voice.

"Now, excuse me, but I think I'll _take_ my seat."

Shrill alarm bells sounded within the heads of several present.

The attitude, his very presence and now the subtle emphasis on his actions... they bode ill for their plans.

"Now, now, I didn't want to interrupt anything... Asakawa-san, I thought _you_ had the word, so, please, continue."

Going red from the embarrassment at the hands of her superior, she quickly stammered some feeble excuses before going still, leading to an uncomfortable silence.

That particular kind of uncomfortable silence where it is all but assured that bad news and was further supplemented by the expression on the face of their Hokage.

He knew they knew that he planned something, and they knew that he knew that they couldn't do anything to stop him thanks, in part, to his unexpected arrival in their midst.

No-one in the spacious, well-lit chamber dared to even _breathe _loudly, and speaking was completely out of the question for almost all of them.

Almost.

"Now, _now_, Sarutobi-kun, what brings you here on this wonderful day? I'm _sure_ the reports from the Defense, Medical and Sanitation departments are flawless and have been delivered."

Utatane Koharu was one of the few – oh, so very few – that called him to this day by his name instead of by his title, something he cherished to no end. It made him feel like a human, not like the heartless villainous machine he had seen so many experienced, old and powerful shinobi turn into.

"Ahh, yes, they are. Don't worry... _about that_. There are several pressing matters that I felt like gathering your opinions about before issuing orders."

_So that was it, _Homura thought. _He´s showing them... _us_... who´s boss. Finally he comes out of his funk, even if it´s gonna cost me and Koharu._

But they had been friends and allies since the age of nine, the youngest genin-team of their time, taught by the two men that made their dream reality, the men that founded the Village of the Leaf.

They hadn't been envious of him when Shodai-sama and Nidaime-sama tutored him above and beyond the call of what any jounin-sensei should, because they, too, had seen it, that the third member of their team was destined for greatness.

They had cheered him on when he was proclaimed as the successor of Nidaime-sama, they had been Best Man and Maid of Honour when he married and they were Auntie and Uncle to his son Asuma.

All it took were a few shared glances, imperceptible nods, creasing of brows and shifting of wrinkles to come to an understanding. They would back him once again, damn the costs. He was a friend, a leader, a force of personality.

Danzo was gnashing his teeth in silent frustration. It had taken him almost _a decade_ to build his power base, and that only because that peace-loving monkey bastard had slipped into resigned apathy after the defection of his own genius student-turned-traitor.

He would have to fight tooth and nail to keep that power if the man who had taken what was rightfully _his_ came back into the battlefield of politics.

"Ahh, I'm sure many of you wonderwhy I'm here today. After all, this is _just_ a regular council meeting, there´s nothing out of the ordinary in the village and everything is going fine for us internationally..."

_Twitch. Shift. Fidget. Too long have you abused your non-existent authority and defied my wishes._

"... but I'm here on business that many of you would count as _quite _important. It concerns, after all, one of the most important citizens of the village."

_Heh. Hook._

Now they were confused. None of them had, in the last few months, brought forth any complaints against families such as the Hyuuga or the Uchiha, whom Sarutobi was clearly speaking of.

"Odd. None of you seem to understand whom I am talking about. Did you not bring his actions to my attention just last week, telling me that I _had_ to take action?"

The first knowing – and dismayed – glances sprang up in the assembled councilmen and -women.

_Take that. Line._

"I'm sure that **none** of you would mistake him for being unimportant... after all, didn't you speak of his strategical value? Of how it was all but _criminal_ of **me** to let him live?"

Faint horror, disgust and worry adorned the faces of everyone present, save three people.

_Gotcha all. Sinker._

"Hokage-sama, you can't mean... _him_... right? How could he be important enough to warrant your_ s_pecial attention?"

The way Sarutobi´s eyes were shining bode ill for the future of the councilperson in question, and the three unaffected by his earlier explanation grimaced for their own reasons.

Homura, because he disliked open stupidity. And seeing his friend angry, too.

Koharu, because she disliked the long-winded process of approval every time a councilperson was replaced.

Danzo, because there went _another_ of his supporters. Why were they all so _stupid_. It wasn't exactly a secret that the monkey bastard was overly fond of the vessel.

"Seven days ago you _tried _to have him killed on accounts of his supposedly demonic nature. _Of course_ I'm talking about Uzumaki Naruto. And now I have decided to take action, as you had... _demanded_... of me."

For a second, Sarutobi enjoyed the various looks of rising hope many of the council had on their faces, or the puzzlement almost all others sported.

But such things were not to last, and he enjoyed it even more to crush and grind these hopes into the dust where they belonged.

"Ah, please don't. Don't hope I'll have him executed, because it would be _such a pity_ if I had to disappoint you in that case... on the contrary. I plan to take up a certain _suggestion_ of your esteemed colleague Danzo..."

Said man felt subconscious alarm sirens blaring and warning signs blinking ferociously, but whatever Sarutobi would bring forth, there wasn't time to prepare and divert/avert it.

Cursing himself, Danzo looked up from his introspection and contemplation, having missed a better part of the Hokage´s explanation on what was about to go on... and judging from the various shocked looks of his own colleagues, it wasn't anything good at all.

"... and this concludes that matter. Project Whirlwind shall commence within four weeks under my direct supervision."

Homura was openly grinning. _That_ was a bombshell that rivalled Sarutobi´s choice of succession. And judging by the lime-sour look on Danzo´s face, it struck where it hurt, too.

Koharu, while not grinning, applauded her Hokage in her mind. A masterful move, completely out of the blue – _after all, how many times had he denied those _fools_ just that?_ - and thus denying his opponents _any_ chance to strike back or block this notion.

Apparently, not all of those present followed that particular train of thought – _or were just plain suicidal – _as an exceptionally belligerent, spiteful councilperson almost instantly proved.

"Hokage-sama! You _can't_ do this! That wretched demon will be the end of us if you give him anything but a blade to the neck!"

The Third Fire Shadow merely raised one white eyebrow.

"I _can't_ do this, Sohma-san? It appears that I have abstained from joining these meetings for too long... _remember your place, __**advisor.**_"

Sarutobi knew that the pressure and indignation he radiated towards this upstart politician was all but an open declaration of war to the council, but it served as an exact reminder of what they were.

They were not the all-powerful instance of decisions they liked to envision themselves as, for they had _no_ real power except that of the highest-placed ninja bureaucrats within the village. In the end, all they could do was fume impotently at whatever he decided to do – he _was_ the leader and ultimate authority within the village, whether they liked it or not.

Sohma Hotaru knew terror as the almost solid force of Sarutobi´s anger slammed into him, freezing him like a deer caught in the headlights... no, worse, like a tiny, insignificant herbivore before a majestic and _damn_ hungry lion.

"Does anyone else feel the urge to contribute something to the project? No? Very well, then, I have things to work out and schedules to set up. I wish you all a _pleasant_ day."

The following ruckus in the council chamber would be the most tumultuous multi-way all-out quarrelling ever to disgrace said chamber as _everyone_ tried to make the most of the drastic political upheaval that would follow if Sarutobi-sandaime pulled through with his new directive.

* * *

_How it had come to this, he didn't know. The ever-changing tides of war knew not hesitation, fealty or mercy, they only knew of death, betrayal and slaughter. Somehow, after they – _his_ village – had crushed a sizeable contingent of Sand shinobi, the Cloud and their formerly worst enemies, the Stone, had taken it upon themselves to crush the Leaf in order to clear the playing field of any major powers besides their own._

_The fact that the Nidaime Raikage had annihilated the Stone contingent in an unprecedented show of power and well-precedented betrayal – the family technique that would later become known as the Judgement Bolt – and electricity had helped, yes._

_That the Shodai Tsuchikage had, in a suicide manoeuvre born of desperation and the grasp of defeat, ripped almost a square kilometre out of the very **ground** and buried half of the Cloud and Leaf shinobi in retaliation didn't. But, fortunately, the Anger of the Land_ _died with that miserable, scarred monster of a Kage._

_Still, the Leaf had lost a quarter of their overall forces in this ill-fated encounter, and it was up to _him_, the highest-ranked surviving member – no-one had seen Shodai-sama anywhere since the disastrous impact – of the Leaf Command to change this from a disaster into at least a narrow victory._

_He did, of course. Nineteen-year old Sarutobi commanded his elite to the flanks of his army, drew the genin and the wounded to himself and, when the Raikage and his Satsujin-ken, _the_ five top swordsmen of the Cloud, came at him with mocking laughter, proceeded to burn the Cloud with flames sparked by the urge to protect the children of the Leaf, fuelled by their combined chakra and hot enough that not even the blades of their enemies remained after he was finished._

_It was at this point that he gained the unwavering respect of the Uchiha present until the day they died, the day that he himself became the first and foremost bogeyman of the Cloud for the next five decades and the day he secured the absolute superiority of the Leaf for the next seven years, time that was well-used to both consolidate their gains and train their forces to make up for the terrible losses of the Flamescar Battlefield_

* * *

He knew that he spent too much time reminiscing, but it was hard not to. He had lead a life full of action, a life of war, strife and never-ending battle. 

A life that he was born into, just like the cause of his reminiscence was.

And while he had been taught by his two predecessors, he would make sure that Naruto would be taught by both himself and the elite of the Leaf, whether they wanted to or not.

Unfortunately, he had committed himself to a course of action, and it wouldn't matter whether or not _Naruto_ would want what was coming.

_Still, life is better than death. Even if it is a life of blood, battle and murder._

Sighing about the small injustices in life, such as not getting Orochimaru´s head on a pike as a birthday present, Jiraiya being a lazy-ass writer and not publishing the new Icha Icha: Make-do Ultraviolence any time soon, Sarutobi slowly ambled towards where he knew Naruto would be at this time of the day.

_No wonder he likes that stuff so much. Cheap as dirt and filling up an empty stomach nicely._

It was the ramen stand Naruto favoured above all else in the village – _again, no wonder when the owner treats him as a paying customer instead of a monster –_ but, sadly, ramen would no longer make do for the young Uzumaki.

The warrior he would be forced to become couldn't live and improve with such a miserably unbalanced diet, and even though the protests would be ear-splitting and mind-numbing, the new food orders would be enforced.

As he slipped under the low curtains and onto the seat on the right of Naruto, his appreciation for the young man rising exponentially as he saw his soon-to-be trainee actually _laughing_ while managing to scarf down bowl after bowl of ramen.

_I wonder if he actually cares about what kind of ramen he gets... nah. He'd even eat sawdust ramen if someone with a smile and a warm heart served them_.

It was after the sixth bowl that the young boy devoured that Ichiraku Teuchi turned around to face his newest customer... and almost froze in shock, only a quick set of gestures indicating that he was here on business with Naruto – _who thought that after all those years detached from them, in my ivory tower, I'm still able to operate like a proper human being – _averting disaster and netting him a bowl of miso ramen, too.

The ramen were surprisingly good, too, considering their low price and the quick serving.

"Naruto."

The results of that simple address were amazing to behold, if rather unpleasant for the party involved.

The young boy did an amazing vertical take-off, hindered, unfortunately, by his knees crashing into the bottom of the bar and, thanks to him bending over reflexively, his head smashing into the top side of the bar.

"Mah nowf! Ow! It huwts! Mah nees, too! Oww..."

Sarutobi was unsure whether to grin at or pity the young boy. He settled for pitying him with a grin on his face.

"Owd man! Whaddah ya doing here? Oww... that really hurt..."

_Amazing. Absolutely bloody amazing. He healed from a broken nose in seconds. _Seconds!_ Why has no-one ever reported this?_

"Ah, forgive me, Naruto-kun. I came to ask you something, actually..."

A mouth full of noodles – _how in Shodai´s name does he eat them so fast? - _Naruto turned to face the Grandfather of the Leaf, a look of puzzlement on his whisker-scarred face.

"Ask me something? Huh? I didn't do it! Really! It was... uhm... someone else! I saw them! Like, with green hair and only one leg!"

_Don't laugh at him! This is important! Even if he looks like chibi-Jiraiya after Orochimaru set him on fire for throwing him into the women´s section of that onsen..._

"Old man? Old man? You okay? Oy! **OY**! You okay there?"

_I'm getting old... distracted by memories... everyone could've snuck on me in that time._

"Yes, Naruto-kun, I am okay. Don't worry about me... but, back to the question I wanted to ask you. Do you remember what we talked about a week ago?"

Naruto´s look of consternation melted into one of deep thought – _although he looks like something tries to gnaw on his ears from the inside of his head –_ as he tried to remember what they had talked about. Suddenly, epiphany struck – _or just something suitably heavy, from the looks of it –_ and Naruto started his usual crowing/bellowing.

"Ne, ne, old man, I know what! You said I shouldn't crap on other people's doorsteps! And ask for toilet paper afterwards... hee-hee."

_Figures that he only remembers the part he found funny... time to change that._

"No, Naruto-kun. While you really shouldn't do that, you asked me if I had a way to teach you to become, as you phrased it, "awesome"."

Naruto´s face lit up, just like the Nidaime Raikage had when he had unleashed the very essence on flame on him, the boy all but dancing on his barstool.

"You can? You really really really _really_ can?"

A small part of Sarutobi´s soul hurt, hurt but didn't die, as he set out to change the world in a manner that not even he could fully comprehend.

"Yes, Naruto-kun, I can. I fear that I must, even if you don't want the training any more."

Shoving the accumulated accessories of a ramen-eating frenzy away, Naruto _hmm_'ed slightly, wondering what the old man had meant.

"But why shouldn't I want to become an awesome ninja? That's, like, you know, my dream and all?"

_Poor, innocent child. You have no idea what awaits you, both from your trainers as well as from the line of duty itself._

"Because sometimes you will be forced to do things you don't want to do, but must do."

Naruto, never one to be either silent or thoughtful for long – _another thing we will have to change – _quickly voiced his opinion of that particular train of thought.

"So what, old man? If you give me an order that sucks, I'll do it! But afterwards... ooh, you thought I was nasty to those guys last week? I'd get _creative_ with you afterwards!"

Suppressing a nasty shudder, fully well knowing what a well-trained Naruto with blood on his hands and havoc in his mind would be able to do – _oh, if _any_ deity listens to me, please, __please__ don't force me to make such an order, I like the village better without explosions, smoke and manic cackling everywhere – _Sarutobi went on to cover the core of the matter at hand.

"I hope we will be able to avoid those situations, really. I like our village better the way it is. But, to be frank with you, both the council and I have come to a decision. You will be trained by the best of the best of this village, to become an unstoppable fighter, an undetectable infiltrator and an irresistible interrogator. You will become a weapon of the village, a weapon to be wielded by the Hokage."

With every word, Naruto´s eyes grew wider and wider, to a point where Sarutobi wondered how it was possible for Naruto not to burst the blood vessels in these blue eyes.

"Y... you mean... wow... training? You really mean that someone will teach me when I ask them?"

Nodding, Sarutobi quickly replied, lest the boy lose attention.

"Yes, Naruto-kun, they will. Even if you don't want to train, you will. You must swear on your life and honour that you will do your utmost to become the best, to serve and abide by the laws of the Leaf! You will learn many things, things that you might find stupid, embarrassing or useless, but that, in the end, will benefit you greatly. So, can you swear that you will learn when taught? No matter the situation or the subject?"

_If his chest swells any further with pride, he'll take to the air. Now, that would be a sight indeed._

"Yes! I swear! I will learn! And grow strong! Strong enough to protect _everyone_! And strong enough to kick the asses of all those meanies, too!"

Relief flooded his weary soul – _not that I can stay passive any more. They wanted to rule, so it is fitting if I remember them of how being ruled is. _- as he heard Naruto seal and accept the deal.

"And now, please, promise an old man something. That you will hold on to that burning desire to live, that you will enjoy your life besides the many, many hardships you will face. Please, I implore you, promise me that you won't become another Kakashi or Itachi."

While Naruto had absolutely no idea whom the old man – and at the moment he really, really looked the part of a tired, almost _fearful_ old man – was talking about, he wouldn't let down the first and only man to ever really grant him his most fervent wish without asking for much in return.

What did it matter if he had to do "troublesome" things if he was awesome enough to do them?

What did it matter if he had to learn things he didn't want to learn, if someone actually taught him so he could become more awesome?

"Don't worry, old man! I'll stay as kick-ass as I am! No way Uzumaki Naruto will become a mope-y faced fool! I'll be awesome, and you better believe it!"

_This is the start of a wonderful relationship. He reminds me so much of Jiraiya... but Naruto will become better, both as a shinobi and as a person. He will be avatar of everything the Leaf stands for. He will be our Whirlwind Weapon._

* * *

Preview: 

"DATTEBAYO, BITCH!" - Furious Retaliation! - Tales from times gone by


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